Last night, I felt like fkin shit
So my friend and I sat on her balcony and smoked a joint
And for a moment, I felt myself floating away from all the things that made me sad
Higher, higher, there was no star I couldn’t reach
But then the high was over,
So I came back down to the cold, hard ground
And I went to bed still feeling like fkin shit
(Source: vitreo)
purple haze is in my brain
I wonder, what does it feel like to love somebody who you periodically lose, time and time again? Not just to distance, -because that’s hard enough as it is- but to other people, too - strangers on the street, acquaintances at clubs, friends that hover on the thin line between what’s over here and what’s all the way over there. I wonder, what does it feel like to know the person you love is slipping away, but the only way you can get them back is if you sit there silently and wait? Because, oh - god knows, chasing them just makes them run further away. On the days when I’m feeling significantly less selfish than I usually am I spare a thought for these people; I spare a thought for you. Some of us are so lucky in life. Some of us always, always get what we want.
As much as I hate to admit this, I think I met the world’s most beautiful boy in Sheffield on Saturday night. He’s one of the bartenders at Replica and so ridiculously good looking it’s unreal. Have I died? Is this heaven?! He has officially raised the standard for all mankind.. Goodbye cruel world.
I just had the best weekend in Sheffield spent with some of the people I love the most in the whole world, and now that I’m back in Edinburgh I feel lost, and empty, and very much alone. Is this the after-effects of being surrounded by unconditional and unhindered love? That the second it’s taken away, your whole sense of balance is distorted, and nothing and nobody else ever really feels good enough in comparison? In brief summary, Harjeet’s birthday weekend was a whirlwind of apple sourz shots and cigarettes out in the cold and sleeping till 2 o’clock in the afternoon. It was meeting a bunch of the most hilarious, most kind-hearted boys and being able to pinpoint the exact moment when you went from being acquaintances to friends, all in one night. It was lazy mornings lying in bed talking about tattoos and getting a kiss from a very cute bartender (thanks to the skankypants birthday girl, Harjeet!!) and drinking sambuca shots with the funniest guy I’ve ever met, all night long. It was scoring a pair of wedges for £12 in a massive Office sale and taking taxis everywhere we went and gradually demolishing a heavenly red velvet cake from Hummingbird as the weekend went on. It was constant conversation and endless laughter and just being so, so happy I nearly forgot sad people existed, because they surely didn’t exist among us. It was listening to Sail by Awolnation, a hundred million times on repeat. Have I mentioned the extremely cute-as-fuck bartender?! Now that it’s over, this perfect weekend in Sheffield has made me feel slightly disorientated, and suddenly I’m not so sure where to place my feet anymore. People who go to university with their best friends are so, so lucky - I think if I had those girls here with me, I’d never have a blue day again! Fuck that, I don’t think I’d even bother making any other friends hahaha. Harjeeto Cheebai Kaur, I hope you had a fantastic, extremely hungover 20th birthday. You’re beautiful, skanky, insanely clever and one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and I cannot think of a better I’m-going-to-always-call-you-while-I’m-on-a-long-walk buddy ;) I love you, and waving goodbye to you today made my heart crumble. I’ll be back in Sheffield again in no time, sleeping on your floor and taking photos of your drunk ass passed out next to the toilet and refusing to walk anywhere that’s more than 5 minutes away. I love you to bits and pieces, assface ♥♡♥♡♥
PS: When you finally get your skanky ass up to Edinburgh for a weekend, then you’ll get your snazzy shiny super-cool birthday present!
Some people come into your life
And all they bring is sadness
(Source: bloodnote)
